Originally published at: http://dstormer6em3i4km.onion/myth-of-the-20th-century-episode-51-2017-year-in-review/
January 6, 2017
— Brought to you by —
Adam Smith, Hans Lander, Nick Mason, Hank Oslo and Alex Nicholson
For most of the world, New Years is a time of colder temperatures, slower work schedules, and hopefully also one of reflection and resolution. In our increasingly complex and interconnected world, distilling major events and tying them into one’s own personal life is a challenge on a daily, let alone yearly, basis. But with that in mind, we here at Myth of the 20th Century will attempt to highlight the most notable occurrences in this past year, and wish all those whose virtue earns it a wonderful life into the next.
-8-year-old accidentally orders product through Alexa, an Amazon product.
-‘Clock Boy’ loses lawsuit against Texas school district.
-African female is crowned ‘Miss Helsinki’ in Finland, a country where natural blonde hair makes up over 70% of the female population.
-Nationwide pussy-hat protests conducted by failed C-list female celebrities.
-Madeline Albright claims that she wants to register as a Muslim.
-Hungary swears in its first squadron of full-time border guards to fight off migrants from the Middle East, North Africa, sub-Saharan Africa, and Central Asia.
-Sir Lancelot cast with an African in the role.
-Trump comments on rising migrant crime and rape epidemic in Sweden, on the wake of several shootings and bombings.
-Anti-fascist protesters launch assault on homosexual conservative activist, Milo Yiannopoulos, and his entourage at UC Berkeley.
-‘Dear White People’, an anti-white propaganda film produced by Netflix, is released to complete lack of interest.
-Pewdiepie, a Youtube celebrity, is accused of being a crypto-Nazi, a fascist, and an anti-Semite.
-Elderly man is pepper-sprayed by anti-fascist protesters for wearing a MAGA hat.
-‘Based Stick Man’, colloquially known as ‘The Chopstick’, beats up anti-fascist protesters with a giant stick.
-Feminist activists and a Boston investment firm State Street Global Advisors places bronze girl icon in front of a giant bronze bull.
-Ohio family is pictured overdosing on opioids inside of a minivan, around the time President Trump announces a national task force to combat the opioid crisis.
-The Battle of Berkeley commences, with anti-fascist and nationalist protesters fighting each other.
-Trump orders cruise missile strike on a Syrian airbase in retaliation for a chemical attack
-Oracle acquires an analytics firm called Moat, marking a continuing growth trap for the Silicon Valley firm.
-Mark Zuckerberg claims that nationalism is the greatest global change of our time.
-Yale University dean gets into a Yelp argument.
-Jewish journalist for Salon.com writes anti-Mother’s Day article.
-Ariana Grande, a Kabbalist Jew, holds a concert in Manchester, UK. This concert is subsequently bombed by Islamic radicals. Nobody thought any of this was weird.
-Vault 7 leaks indicates networking hardware in the United States can be compromised by CIA backdoors. New information also indicates that the CIA is actively trolling alternative media platforms.
-Steve Scalise (R – Louisiana), acting House Majority Whip, is gunned down by a Bernie boomer at a baseball field. Scalise survives.
-Cathy Griffin, a nobody, goes on CNN and holds up a decapitated doll meant to look like POTUS Trump.
-An Islamic radical kills several British civilians by running them over with a truck in London.
-Ben Shapiro is pictured wearing a cowboy hat, much to the chagrin of the internet far-right.
-Anti-faisct/YPG pro-homosexualist militias are pictured in Syria/N. Iraq, indicating their intent to kill anti-homosexualists.
-Poland welcomes POTUS Trump with a massive celebration, complete with Confederate flags.
-Facebook becomes involved in the German election process by deleting thousands of accounts days before the voting procedures were supposed to take place.
-James Damore, a Google employee, is fired after penning a small essay regarding gender diversity and performance within Google.
-Houston, TX mayor pledges to protect undocumented migrants during hurricane season.
-Charlottesville sends shockwaves throughout the United States. Alt-Right is placed front and center of a new political dialectic.
-Gary Cohn and White House allies are politically marginalized after public disagreements with Trump’s remark on Charlottesville.
-U.S. aid package of $38 billion with Israel is finalized, effectively subsidizing the U.S. private military supplier industry.
-Largest mass-shooting to date in American history, the Las Vegas shooting, was undertaken for still misunderstood motives.
-Several major right-wing Twitter accounts are purged for content violations.
-Prince Charles and Nigel Farage both publicly criticize the power of the Israeli Jewish lobby in the United States.
-Happy Merchant Meme makes a public appearance in Congress, centering around a debate regarding online anti-semitism.
-Wikileaks reveals that CIA code has been used to create backdoors into Kaspersky software infrastructure.
-Color Revolution is conducted against the Islamic regime currently ruling in Iran, with mass-protests across the country.
-Net Neutrality officially ended in the United States, introducing the ability for ISP’s and other service providers to undertake in pricing discrimination and hierarchical network servicing.
– CIA Agents to Troll Alternative Media Sites in Huge Propaganda Program, Red Ice TV (2017) – https://redice.tv/news/cia-agents-to-troll-alternative-media-sites-in-huge-propaganda-program
– Fearless Girl’: State Street Global Advisors’ CMO On The Rationale, The Controversy And What’s Next, Rooney (2017) – https://www.forbes.com/sites/jenniferrooney/2017/04/21/fearless-girl-state-street-global-advisors-cmo-on-the-rationale-the-controversy-and-whats-next/#2d73f7e5382a
– Sacklers: The Family That Built an Empire of Pain, Keefe (2017) – https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/10/30/the-family-that-built-an-empire-of-pain
– White Helmets Beheadings of Soldiers: Ugly Background, Miri Wood (2017) – http://www.syrianews.cc/white-helmets-beheadings-soldiers-ugly-background/
– Oracle Acquisition Spree – http://marketrealist.com/2016/12/oracles-acquisition-spree-likely-continue-2017/
– The Bow-Tied Bard of Populism, Coppins (2017) – https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/02/tucker-carlson-interview/516231/
– Surveillance, Inc. – Part One, Braving Ruin (2017) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujsy0Nw3ALc